☆ Worries ☆

yes I am worried Alex has been getting Tummy aches alot lately similar to when we first found out about the lump but we have a scan on the 28th so am waiting for that as have been told its scar tissue repairing etc so hope this is true, she was upset last night so much that she slept with us and ended up kicking Daddy out of the bed lol, Robyn joined us at 3am like she always does hehe  ( I am always worried and anything like this sets of the Big alarm bells )and I think I have started to get scanxiety already and we have almost 4 weeks to the scan, getting port accessed next wednesday so may just ask the nurses at Banksia to see what I should do!!!


on a different note Robyn has bought a tummy Bug home from pre-school (child care)( this too could be making Alex have a sore tummy) and as Robyn will not wear nappies during the day now we are having No.2 accidents but no No. 1 so it is a step forward.

♥~ Prayers ~♥

well its been a sad week or 2 I have seen a few families get the new that their child has Cancer, has relapsed and on top of that a few have lost the fight Young and Old
My thoughts are with all these Families and Pray we find that Cure and Miracle soon♥

I would like to ask a favour of anyone reading this from anywhere in the world to visit this young Ladies page and wish her well she is pinning everyone on a map to see how many she can get from the US but also well anywhere in the world, just read her page to hear how she is going and pray love and strength to miss Skye and her Loving family ♥ then Sign her guest book to let her know where you are from ♥


Skye ♥


 ok note from us Miss Robyn is now wearing Undies every day and nappies only at Night still having accidents but we have just bit the bullet and followed her lead   "About Time" I say hehe she is a little lazy and well after Miss Alex dealing with what we have why not she has had to watch her sister be strong and well not a good thing for a toddler well now she is a pre-school-er ♥

In Memory of My Dad♥

in Memory of My dad he was found on the 1st July and I was looking through some things trying to find a poem and found these photos and the poem below

this is Alex and her Grandfather in Feb 2005 she was 7.5 months old

one photo is also the last one of Me with My dad ♥

and the poem we used at his funeral

Miss me - But let me go 

when I have come to the end of the road,

and the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom filled room,

why cry for a soul set free?


Miss me a little-but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss Me - but let me go.




for this is a journey that we all must take,
and each must go it alone,
it's all a part of the master plan,

a step on the road to home.


When you are lonely and sick of heart
go to the friends we know
and lose your sorrows

in doing good deeds

Miss me - but let me go


in memory of My dad


H F Crabb


11/01/1940-22/06/2009


we have school holidays at the moment 2 weeks, so Alex is enjoying Time at Home with Mummy and Robyn ♥
tomorrow Robyn has Pre-school ( Child care) she goes every wednesday so it is my me day to get things done like Hospital trips etc and tomorrow Alex and I are just going to Hang out hehe♥ next week 7th july its Hospital for Port flush and then 28th July. CT scan and Oncologist Visit

Its winter here and getting Cold for Sunny Queensland Brrr was down to 0 last night and 4 tonight so far, will be 18 tomorrow.

☆ Stress !!!!!! ☆

^I^The Partial Lunar Eclipse on Saturday Night^I^

STRESS!!! and Blues

I have been speaking to a counselor from Cancer council as I have the Cancer Blues sort of depression. I do not wish harm on anyone even myself but I do Blame myself for having Cancer in my family. plus I have other issues like the "What if"  "Why" and of cause "What Next" plus others that go through my head that I can not answer even now.

STRESS  -  we all have it at one time or another, sometimes more than others too and then there are the Triggers... as a cancer mum I have heaps and have been going through them one at a time this last 2 months

Anniversaries -  are a big Trigger, all of them like surgery, Radiation, the death and disappearance of my dad, diagnosis date, they have all happened over the last few months and do make you sad and stressed as you remember then the think patern starts doing silly things.
plus when someone we know loses a loved one be it for any reason then also the Cancer Kids that get diagnosed or lose the fight these too set off the stress and blues.  must say it has been good to talk to the counciler about these things she is happy I am trying most things as I feel it coming on plus I have a wonderful Husband who also is suffering in silence but lets me know when I am getting bad ♥ 

I have been working on controlling these outbreaks with things like meditation, breathing, changing my chain of thought and getting out when I can (Belly Dancing hehe) which do help I also am a Face book addict as I get on my farm and just go for it without thinking of the things we are dealing with. I also follow a few Families on this site Blogger.com or Caring-Bridge.com which I have been told is good due to we are all dealing with similar things so understand each other and we are a good support network, most of my support is online and half are Over seas. but I do have a few close friends standing by me when I need that shoulder or just someone to talk too. 

 I so pray to see a cure one day soon for this and so many other battles our Children go through and I am just Happy I have my 2 girls here to Hug Tight every Night and know tomorrow is unknown grounds but we just need to keep going forward and make the most of what we have enjoy it for what it is and treasure every minute

 I finally got a laminator and have laminated the Newspaper clipping with difficulty as the laminator hated doing it Grrr and also some other things like flash cards for reading etc, I also have Alex's Hair I want to do this special so trying to make a template for it to back it up ☺ ...I have her First Hair Cut in late 06 when I trimmed her fringe plus 07 her first real haircut, plus when we cut it short after Chemo started April 09 so will be something to look back on may use her hand Print or something ☺

Hug your Children Tight ♥♥♥