IT IS NOT OVER WHEN IT IS OVER

It is not Over when its Over

We certainly experience a huge sigh of relief when our child reaches the end of their cancer treatment.

Seeing your child suffer through toxic chemotherapy, Radiation, Surgeries and Possibly endless illnesses the end of this merry-go-round of treatment is magical. we all dream of "the end". When you are in the middle of treatment the end can seem far, far away (especially for leukemia Patients). Every day spent in Hospital feels like two in "real life".

some people celebrate the end of treatment with a party - the kids certainly deserve to celebrate their new beginnings.

Your family and friends congratulate you for reaching the end of the treatment/hospitalization as your child is "all Better" now. and they are - better that is! The end of treatment should also signify remission which is where we all want to be.

Slowly life becomes a "new Normal". Mum and Dad may return to work or study if they were able to take time off. Older kids will return to school on a more regular basis. Younger kids will simply revel in being at home every day. Routines set in and we can all pretend the last six/nine/twelve months were simply a very, very bad dream.

Then your child does something that makes your adrenaline rush. It could be a completely innocent vomit, complaint  of a headache, a sore leg, a sore arm, a sore tummy but we all know better now. You try not to panic, try to be rational given the circumstances your brain goes into overdrive and your heart is pounding. You sit down with your husband and try to talk it out and make adult decisions. You try to calm down and say"we will keep an eye on it, its probably nothing." And it probably is nothing.

But it is not over when it is over. It is never over.

Cancer is so insidious, is can move in again stealthly. It doesn't hold a party to say "I'm Back, Come and get me this time." You will never know if it is back until your child starts presenting with symptoms again or a regular checkup shows something is going on.

Sadly for some the return of the beast becomes a reality. For the rest we go on living each day in hope that the beast does not return. There are the regular check-ups we have to endure - well not really endure, we like them because they put our minds at ease - temporarily.

SCANXIETY. The terrible, gut-wrenching anxiety we start to feel in the lead up to the tests followed by the week or so afterwards for our meeting with the oncologists for the results. we like to think is we do not hear from the hospital before our appointment then everything is fine.

We do not choose to live like this. We do not choose any of it, it chooses us. We are not seeking more sympathy than has already been provided by our friends and family. We just need continued support for the long term. this is the reality after you have traveled the cancer road with your child.

As a parent we are forever shrouded by the reality of our situation. it may be one month - or twenty years - after the end of treatment. we will forever fear the return of the beast.

However, it does slowly recede into a small niggle in the back of your mind rather than the sledge hammer feeling experienced post treatment. It is not always screaming away in our heads increasing our anxiety. However it will be louder again the closer you get to scan/testing time and it will be yelling, making your head pound as you hang around waiting for the results. However when you receive a good result the high level of anxiety reduces once again to a small niggle - until next time!

Once the test with a god result period passes we again settle back into the new normal life we now live. This, however, will continue to be tempered with occasional moments of fear and anxiety but a life of hope that our children will never again succumb again to the beast of cancer

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this is copied from a fellow mums Page and shows our feelings and anxiety