Did You Ever "Borrowed Post xx"

Borrowed from a FB group who borrowed it from another
 "Next month in September it will be Childhood cancer Awareness month - please be aware that everyday in this country 46 children are diagnosed and 7 die.... 'stole' this from a caringbridge site - please read and share."

"Did you ever think that the phone could ring and in a matter of a few seconds your life could be forever changed by just a few words…your child has cancer? Neither did I.

Did you ever think that you could hurt so badly (emotionally) that the physical pain of it would be almost unbearable? Would you believe you could feel this way and not shed a tear…for weeks? Because your child is watching.

Did you ever think you could call the local children’s hospital home?

Did you ever think that there would be a day when the family/child featured on the news and in the paper as the reason for fund-raisers to help cover medical expenses would be yours? Me either.

Did you ever think that you would learn the hard way that the very people who you would have bet would have stood by you and your family in difficult times would be the ones to turn their backs on you or turn on you altogether?

Did you ever think that mere acquaintances or even strangers could become your lifelines and be the very hands of God to you and your family in your darkest days and your times of need?

Did you ever think that you would have to watch as medical professionals donned gloves, masks and gowns to protect themselves from the chemo (poison) they inject into your child in hopes of saving her life?

My child was the first pediatric cancer patient I ever met. Unfortunately I now know that it is MUCH too common. Why don’t we see these kids? Because they are in hospitals or home because of compromised immune systems or…they don’t make it.

Did you ever think that you would have to sit in a conference room and make the decision to treat your dying child with a drug that is likely to cause heart damage, brain damage or secondary cancers later in life? Notice I didn’t say possibly, I said LIKELY.

Did you ever think that there would be a day when you could catch a glimpse of your child as she walks through a room and be compelled to follow her, feel her, stare at her,and compare her to siblings side by side because she might look like there is something a little “off”? Did you ever think that these impulses would last for years and that most cancer moms admit that they last a lifetime.

Did you ever think that the glimpse mentioned above can turn your “normal” day into a nightmare complete with the “kicked in the gut” feeling you are all too familiar with these days?

Did you ever think that your purse/car/kitchen junk drawer would all contain tubes of numbing cream, bulldogs (clips for holding a central line up and out of the way), detachol (medical adhesive remover), zofran (for nausea), a thermometer, and 5/8 needles (because home health always brings the ¾ size that don’t work on a fickle port).

Did you ever think you would have to explain to your other children that their sister might die?

Did you ever think you would have to tell your child that her friend, another child with the same dx has died?

Did you think you would ever have to see the fear in your child’s eyes that relapse could happen to them, too?

Did you ever think that you would watch your child’s doctors talking in the hallway and try to read their facial expressions to prepare yourself for what you are sure is bad news?

Did you think you would ever have to stifle the anger that you feel when people or organizations brag about the millions of dollars they have spent to “beautify” buildings, cities or whatever when you know that if that money had been spent on pediatric cancer research there would be many, MANY more survivors 10 years from now.

Did you ever think that you could feel guilt when your child is doing well and others is not.

Did you ever think that even when your child is doing exceptionally well that your joy could be robbed with fear and dread ? Of course, you just read another child’s blog and learned that while she seemed perfectly happy and healthy 10 days ago she has since been dx’d with relapse and is in the PICU in a coma and brain damage and might not live through the night. This child, could be your child in 10 days.

All of this has happened to us. September is childhood cancer awareness month. Every single day 46 children are diagnosed with cancer. Every single day 7 children die of cancer. The incidence of cancer has increased 30% in the past 30 years. We don’t know why. Cancer most commonly affects previously healthy children with no history of pediatric cancer in their family.

Cancer is an equal opportunity disease. It doesn’t care if you are wealthy or poor, male or female, young or old, black, white or any other color or where you live. All of our children are at risk. Cancer is the number one killer of children by disease. More than AIDS, asthma, and cystic fibrosis combined yet only one new cancer drug has been created in the past 30 years.

Pediatric cancer patients and their families are not usually circulating in society and I believe that is why there is so little awareness. That is why, as my child is venturing back out into the world, I will live in a fishbowl and share our story."