new protocol

well here we are starting the next lot soon
today we see the Dr about the new protocol and we know already it will be double doses of Radiation in 2 weeks bouts and most likely will be the same chemo we had before " Dactinomycin (Actinomycin-D,Cosmegen), Vincristine Sulphate and Doxorubicin (Adriamycim)" this last one is the red devil and is given over 4 hours and sometimes with fluids before if Needed, 2 of the 3 make her quite sick but there is a chance that we will have to deal with 2 extras as well due to her tumor biopsy results, the tumor was also growing teeth and bone like the Dr told us cancer is stupid but this is something that will need watching as its more common in a different children's kidney cancer than wilms? so thats us waiting on the results on the Lymph nodes and hoping they are dead cells but what ever they will still follow the protocal as the cells can mutate and we want to get this over its just so hard for a mother to watch her child go through all this I still ponder at night if I did something wrong for her to suffer this :( ( sorry still hits me hard like it would any mother with a sick child not just with Cancer but anything really) I know i am only human Hubby is doing well at hiding his stress too but I do see it he tries so hard to be a man but this is his first born Daughter and it shows he is human and loves his daughters so much he did start alienating Miss Robyn but has come around to understand she is in the family and is also suffering like us all. most mornings he is throwing up with the stress,