wow this year has been a long one but still feels like it has gone fast.
we had a circus day this weekend from "Camp Quality"
this was a none animal one but still should be a good day out for the family
"VENT ALERT"
On a sad Note My sister has decided that she has a harder life than us even Alex (WTF) she had asthma and our parents left me with my grandparents to do what they need to do I never left Robyn with anyone except Daddy if It was an emergency run or with me when Daddy stayed with Alex on ward... Robyn does not miss out we give her alot to but the Chartres are about Alex she is the one with a life threatening illness I just wish she would grow up and act 37 not 12 she has always been this way expecting things to be handed over and now Mum and dad have passed away I am her only family ( I may be her next of Kin but she is not mine I have a husband and 2 daughters that come before her) sorry really need to express this as it has ruined our fun weekend this last few days... I posted photos from our Clear day and track day on Facebook and that was the start ARGH but then my friends started on her it was great to know friends I know in person and online understand I have had a hard year even if family don't. My sister has always be jealous of me to this I do not understand we never got more that the other I worked to buy horses as a child not given to me, I bought my first car borrowed the money from my grandfather and paid it back so my parents could buy my sister her cortina (Ford) she has a Torana 2 door but sold it and no idea where that $$ went as my parents where not happy about it... remind you this was before she was 16 so no licence yet...
how does she know what we are DEALING WITH she has no kids and she has not seen Alex since she was 18 months old and healthy, only a mother would understand what I am feeling and one with a CK even more so, now on top of that its my fault she was loosing her job in July & now issues again are my fault I live in QLD not SA so how did I ruin her job and accommodation God I must be good OR maybe its KARMA coming back on her. ( Please understand I love my sister but this is not the first time and will not be the last, she drinks tells us all she has not then says all I have eaten today is a can or bourbon!!!!!) I do not care if she wants to drink it is her life but she needs to make a life and live it not throw blame as she will never understand that Life needs to be lived, and enjoyed not wanting what others have and well she would not like our life at the moment it is no bed of roses that she thinks it is....to be jealous of what we are getting is so sad though this has been a long hard year and she wants the perks I would give anything to not have the perks if I could not have a child with Cancer I still have not grieved My dad this will probably be months maybe more before I can!!! as I can not relax as the whole year floods back I just want a happy Christmas with my family to enjoy and to De-stress some, Hubby is also having issues with stress but we fight alot and I know he loves me as I him but the stress is a killer :(
Sorry for the vent needed to release this is just some of it all though as I have not mentioned her name I have blocked her on Facebook for now as I am going to try enjoy Christmas not stress about her Christmas that I have no power over, she has friends and its not my fault if she loses them same a boyfriends she had some wonderful guys that really cared but it never worked out after a few years well this is something we all have to work on not just throw it away as a relationship like friendship is a two way thing you both need to stay positive and make time for yourselves ♥
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