here we are only a couple of days away from that last dose of chemo. we are all doing as well as can be this will be a short post just to get everything off my mind..
yesterday was Hubbies last day at work he has monday and tuesday off for chemo then goes on leave til the new year.. I also had the cleaner in to help tidy the place up the last time for us. I have found I am an emmotional mess off late and have no control this is something I am not liking at the moment. all was good last night Alex is still not 100% but she never is after the big chemo oral thrush has hit hard too so we are dealing with it all.. Miss Robyn went to bed at a good time last night and I got to sit down and get on Facebook and read emails etc.. then she woke screaming (night terrors) and hubby got her as I was busy with alex she was unconsolable I ended up swapping and taking her to settle her but even a breastfeed was not of intrest I walked around and around rocking and patting her ( this I had not done since she was an infant♥) and very slowly she settled, this was so draining I was shaking once she settled I sad in Hubbies chair as Alex was in mine and broke down kept crying sorry hubby stood by me and then alex started crying too she wanted mummy I honestly think I am going to have a nervious break down.really need some time to relax but how can I it so hard to be away from the girls I also need to Morn my Father I so miss him. what next No idea I will stand strong as this is who I am and will get through this. my girls will grow knowing that I stood by them through this and will through everything I can. I am also worried about Hubby as he also is getting drained as I am and just hope he can stand strong too.
on another front My best Friend (cousin ) sent me an email and we have another in the family with Cancer her niece 22 I think she is, with cervical cancer I wish her all the best, she has a young daughter 6 months Younger than Robyn :( why so many this year and Oh I so hope next years bright and Happy for this Family ☼
ok just needed to get it off my chest had a nap today with Alex and Robyn had a late one so think Ill be up late now :(
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